Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I worry...

Jacksonville Beach Florida, 2004 If you look at the time I'm writing this entry, 4:04 am, you'll know I can't sleep! I can't sleep because I'm worried...worried about doing a good job as being a mother. You see those 4 beautiful daughters above, the ones that my Heavenly Father sent down for me to look after and care for? Yes, my friends, I worry about them and I worry about me. I realize there are no do-overs when it comes to being a mom...you can never go back and rewind the day you just had with those kids. You can only wake up the next morning and pray that you'll do better today. I pray all the time that I am making the right decisions for them, that I am leading them down a path that will ultimately let them be the best that they can be. When they were really little I worried about them crossing the street, worried that they would share their toys with others, worried that they someday, they would grow up and leave me. Now my worries are different, I worry that they will make friends in school, that they will be kind and understanding towards their friends and enemies. With Hannah and Hailey, I worry that they will choose good friends in school, that they'll get asked to the prom by a boy who will respect them. I worry about so many things and I realize that I can't always fix their problems. Sometimes I have to just hug them and let them know I love them. And sometimes I have to find it deep within me to let them go...to make their own decisions, even when I think it might lead to heartache, theirs and mine!
So for those of you who are kind enough to listen to me, send a special prayer my way...one that will get me through those times when all I wish for is a Handbook On How to Raise Daughters The Right Way. The way that will bring them back to a loving Heavenly Father...who will be waiting for them and then will turn to me and say, "Well done, though good and faithful servant"
I love these girls...more than I can adequately express. I wish them peace, happiness, self esteem, and I wish them success...in whatever form that takes!

11 comments:

Lupe said...

Melissa, you're a wonderful mom! It's natural to worry about their well being. It's the scary part of mommy-hood! Your girls are so blessed to have you as their protector, teacher, example, friend, and Mom!

Rachel said...

Mis - your a great mom! I think the best thing we can do is be there for them, love them unconditionally, and of course pray like crazy for help and guidence. I think your fabulous and so do your girls. Your lucky to be their mom, but their lucky to have you as their mom! Love You!

I leave for San Fran tomorrow, but seriously next week no excuses...we've got to have a lunch date or GNO.. Nick is out of town quite a bit in March and I sure would love a night out! I'll call you when I get back in town!

Anonymous said...

no doubt about it, you are one incredible mother. everyone of us wonders if we are doing our best, and worries continuously about our children..if we didn't worry then we would have a problem. your girls love you, you can see it when they talk to you, they admire you, don't forget it!!

Dan and Jen Sampson said...

I think being a mom is the hardest, most stressful, heartrenching, wonderful, happy, amazing, difficult, exhausting job in the world. All we can do is our best and the Lord will take care of the rest.

tara said...

It's daunting at times, isn't it? This whole motherhood thing? I figure all we can do is try our hardest (which you do:), and then hand it over to Heavenly Father. I love you my friend, and so do your beautiful babies:)

Carrie said...

You're a fabulous mom! Worry is very good, thus meaning, you are not being careless. I've stayed up until 3, 4, all hours worrying about my kids, trying to prevent any ways of screwing them up. So glad the next day is a new day!

Amy said...

You've always been a favorite roll model mom for me! You can't help but see YOU in those wonderful, talented, beautiful, thoughtful girls. I KNOW you're doing a fantastic job - and I KNOW you will always do what is best for them. Hugs and prayers coming your way!

Krissy Lowe said...

First off... what gorgeous girls. I feel like you wrote exactly what every mom feels, worries and hopes for their children. From what I hear from Kim you are a fabulous mother!

Holly O. said...

If you find that handbook, will you please pick me up the boy version? The fact that you are worrying and praying leads ME to believe you are on the right path!

Mindi said...

i have 4 girls and i know your pain--but from the blurking i've done on your blog, i think you pretty much have it down. we are always hardest on ourselves!

Jan said...

Spoken like a true mom. You're doing everything right - -just keep on doing it.