Thursday, September 27, 2007

Things I am Not...


So I finally ventured out of the house today! Since we've been home from our trip my little Hudsen has been sick and has missed 3 days of school, thus lots of time spent at home. So, I got them out the door and decided to run the errands I've been escaping this week. One of my first stops was to get the oil changed in my car. I was sitting there, ever so patiently, when the guy comes in the lobby with my air filter...he said it looks pretty good but asked me if we live near a field. I was curious at this point and said no...he went on to tell me that we might want to set some mice traps in our garage because he could tell that mice were making a nest in my engine!!YIKES...what was that? I immediately get the heebee geebees (good spelling, huh) and want to dry heave right there at Grease Monkey. So if you don't already know this about me, let me just say.......I HATE MICE! I can handle snakes, spiders, lizards, hairy french people, but not MICE! Last year we had a couple in our house and it was quite the ordeal. I was ready to move to a hotel and let's just say that Randy threatened our children to NEVER tell mom if they saw one, just go and get him. Anyways, I won't go into the gorry details but let's just say it was a nightmare and I couldn't sleep or eat anything in my pantry till those suckers were gone!
So the first thing that I am not is....A FAN OF MICE!
Next I get myself together, immediately calling Randy when I leave to tell him the horrific details, and drive over to get my nails done. (Yes I am that kind of girl, a little shallow) Everything is going smoothly until the door chimes and in walks a girl I know. Ok, we are not really friends, but we do know each other...our girls are friends. Anyways, she happens to be the girl who just recently asked if I was pregnant at back to school night...in front of a lot of people. I was mortified and told her "No, I'm just fat" and kept on walking. (Of course the moment I got home I cried like a baby and called my personal trainer) I have seen her once after that...at the gym one day (which was quite funny) and then again today. I, being the bigger person, was all friendly with her and pretended it never happened. But I could tell she was embarrassed (which she should be, stupid girl!) as we carried on a conversation. It was them time for me to get up and go wash my hands and you can bet I was sucking in my stomach like never before!! Take that... you should shut your pie hole... stupid girl! I left there determined that the next time I see her I shall be Angelina, Kate Moss, never eating another twinkie, anorexic THIN!
So the final thing that I am not...PREGNANT!
Maybe I should've just stayed home :)







11 comments:

Jori said...

What is with rodents lately?!! Ew!! I am SO sorry. Ick! I just hate them too. Ryan's cousin came up to me a little while ago and asked me to "tell him about the baby" I said I just have one. He looked at my stomach and said "And?" and that's it fool! Man I felt like complete crap. Don't people know you should never ask a woman if she is preggers unless you see the baby crowning??

Melissa said...

So true...Let this be a lesson to all you loud mouths out there!

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking the "Woman" who asked you if you were pregnant was hoping you were and was going to jump up and down with glee if you said yes, seeing that you have made the world a more beautiful place populating it with your gorgeous girls!! I've heard of horsepower but never mousepower..how fast does your car go?

Anonymous said...

you are one hot skinny chick who has the best legs of any hot skinny chick I know. Don't ever let anyone make you feel any different...see you in the morning!!!!

Angie said...

You lead a much more exciting life than I do. I will start living vicariously through you! The only thing remotely interesting today was me asking my bug man to remove his boots before coming into my house and he refused. He did it in a nice way but it was very odd. I then wondered if he had some foot disease and figured he did and so I was glad he left them on. p.s he was setting a mouse trap (no, not the game) in my attic. I guess there were some "droppings"
icky!

Sharla said...

I think that mouse thing is something the car people just make up to mess with your head-- I had a car guy tell me that one day, but we owned a cat who was the biggest serial killer you've ever seen--there was no chance that any (living) mouse was in our garage.

Also, that girl is just jealous. You're fabulous.

Holly O. said...

Next time you see that girl, bitch slap her. Then the next time you see her after that, she won't be worried about whether or not you're pregnant, she'll worry about whether or not you are going to hit her again.

Melissa said...

Oh man Holly, that made me laugh a good hardy laugh...the kind that almost made me pee! Thanks for being on "my" side!

Heather said...

Man, how can people be so dumb!! I like the bitch slapping idea. That's a good one. I'm sorry about the mice, I thought we had them once in our attic, it wasn't mice but roaches!!! Sick huh? But at least it wasn't the mice, I'm with you I hate em.

Rachel said...

Oh Melissa - you make me laugh like no other. I can totally relate to all your funny stories. We had mice issues last Christmas and I thought I was going to lose it, actually I kind of did. It wasn't our best holiday. Anyway, I didn't sleep for days, although that's nothing new, but I went a little psycho about catching the mice. Aghh - it brings back very traumactic memories. And for the record, you're one hot saucy mama -that silly girl was just trying to find something to talk to you about because she wants desperately (sp??)to be your friend. Silly, silly girls!

Unknown said...

okay, seriously. why do people ask people if they're pregnant when they don't know. people could be ready to deliver right then and there and i wouldn't ask if i didn't know. hello, people!